May 7th, 2011

Alone

Update on Real lIfe

Hello everyone...

well this past month.... year... two years.. has been a very long journey...

My mother has Alzheimer's.. and I've been her caregiver for the past four years.. last month.. She fell and broke her left hip.. The surgery was a turning point in her mental status... I can't keep her at home any longer.. The cost was beginning to become to much.. as well as the emotional toll on me... has been tremendous.

The week she fell.. I felt that I had failed her.. in not keeping her safe... but I know I'm not superwoman. That her disease was just progressing faster than I could keep up.. That she was slowly loosing sight of the world around her and slipping in her own world alone with her past and memories of those who have passed on.

Monday.. I go and pick her from a behavioral unit that specializes in Alzheimer's and Dementia, and then placement in a Nursing Home.. the one I work at. Her complete care is no longer mine alone...

Alzheimer's is an evil disease. Having them look at you and not realize who you are is the most painful thing I have endured.

My heart hurts.

My soul hurts.

Those looking for an update.. well.. not for awhile.. when I get back into the swing of things... I'll begin by finishing one story at a time.. and continue from there.. but until then..

Remember your Mother on Mother's day... and never let a day go by without telling her you love her..